The Valley of Death

I am beyond middle age now. I can see the finish line of life much more clearly now. When I was in the first grade, I can still remember vividly my school bus pulling up to my classmates Greg's home. The fire department was just finishing putting out the last of the flames, that had burned the small house to the ground. Greg and his siblings were found under the bed. I often wondered if they had died from the smoke or had suffered through the fire...No one talked about it in the late 1960's, it was as if he never existed. I have thought about Greg over the years and it seems so tragic that his life was never fulfilled. I have thought about his parents and how they must have felt so much pain, losing all of their children....

My Grandfather Bruck died in his early 50's a couple of years later. My mothers mom (Gran) comforted me by sharing with me that God only takes the ones he wants. In my faith, my understanding changed about death. If I truly believed, then I would have to understand that after death, the dead go to a better place, and that the pain I would feel should not be for them, but for us, the loved ones that the departed had left behind. My two best friends in Junior High School had both tragically lost older siblings. Both of their parents guarded their surviving children and probably over protected them. I understand now more than I did then.

In high school, I had an off again on again girl friend named Mona. She was very sweet and she and her sister Kitty quickly became two of my best friends. I went off to college, and lost touch with those two great sisters. They were both incredibly sweet and beautiful girls. Through Face Book , I found out a couple of years ago, that Kitty had lost her life in a snow mobile accident. She had drowned in an icy pond and left behind a husband and children. I laid in bed across the world in Dubai, and regretted not staying in touch with these sisters that had made my High School days so much happier. Tears flowed freely and I was angry that I did not find out about Kitty's premature death until several years after her passing.

I had a coworker while I was selling copiers years ago that took me under his wings. Jim taught me so many things about sales. He was a student of "the sale" and read as many books and attended many seminars to improve his craft and better his family's finances. Later on in life (1998) I was able to hire Jim and he worked with Fred and I before his untimely death. He was diagnosed with colon cancer in 1999, and within a couple of years Jim died alone in a hospice. I was distant from Jim in his last days...I was scared of death, as I still am.

This past week, one of my best friends from High School took his own life. Mike Baker was a Minister and teased me in emails even while I was in Dubai. He married one of the most popular girls from High School, and he and Beth had a great family. He used humor from the pulpit, and was just a really genuine man. I hadn't seen him in person since 1981, but we had exchanged numerous messages and even spoke on the phone a few times. I don't understand why a man that in my eyes had everything, would give it all away, and leave so many behind with immense pain to fill their grieving hearts...and it has caused me to question my own end time...I guess this blog has given me a chance to try and make since of death.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."
This verse from the King James version of the Bible, finally makes since to me, It gives little comfort to those that are grieving, but in time it will help heal the hearts of those left behind...I will miss you Mike...

Next weekend my best friend Fred and I are having a boys weekend in Cincinnati. We have Reds tickets and are going to see my favorite team face another baseball playoff contending team, the Pittsburgh Pirates. I find myself living a fairly frugal life, except for my one weekend a month guilty pleasure. Have no fears, my savings account is still growing, I just have a need to enjoy my hard earned economic freedom with a little excursion every month.

Kelly and I have caught up with each other, and she is home in Canada missing out on all of the Ramadan fun of the UAE. Last year I only went to one Iftar dinner, and it was with Kelly. I plan on calling Kelly and catching up with her while she is in Canada. I miss that gal, and I will cling to her friendship.

Speaking of getting out of town during Ramadan, Rodz is home with her family in the Philippines. Rodz and I have discovered the joy of Skype, and somehow we are closer now than we were my last year in Dubai...as the song goes..."You're gonna miss me when I am gone"...

Cherish your friends and loved ones, let them know as often as you can how much you care...Thanks for the few minutes that you shared with me reading this blog...I am grateful for your friendship and I hope to see and talk with you again soon. Hopefully, we will see each other here again August 1st.