Nipplemania

Where to start this week....I guess I will start by continuing on about my Nutragious candy bar. My favorite store Hyper Panda now has it for sale - 1.85 AED (ABOUT 50 CENTS) what a great lesson in capitalism and competition. The UAE is a huge importer of American products. In 2010 the UAE had a 10 billion dollar trade deficit with the United States. The UAE exports two major items to the US. The second leading export item to the US is crude oil (230 million dollars) it trails the leading item...Aluminum. While the leading imported item from America is Oil drilling equipment, I am not certain where Nutragious Candy bars rank in the imports....but it is soaring...lol.
Speaking of importing things, this week two ex-pats (21 year old UK citizen and a Sudanese Ex-pat) were convicted of selling marijuana here in the UAE, they sold a little less than $400 worth to an undercover police officer and a 17 yaer old local (Emirate) citizen. They have both been sentenced to death by firing squad. It will be interesting to see if the British Gov't. can get the sentence reduced for their citizen, the Sudanese gentlemen better have his will in order. The Emirate citizen was put into drug rehab....why you would want to sell drugs here boggles the mind....
Speaking of a tough government, I shared with you a couple of weeks ago about the magazines at the book store being censored with a black sharpie, the internet is censored (no porn or Jewish websites), the movies have black dots over male nudity (not female), and the only thing not regulated...Department store manniquans.  It is suprising to me that if a woman dresses too sexily at the mall (zero tolerance during Ramadan) she will be asked to leave. If she refuses - she faces deportation. Well, the manniquans in the department store all have very prominant - well nipples...Even Fred noticed (Debbie doesn't read this blog- please don't tell her about Fred, he may not be allowed to come back if his wife knew about his wandering manniquan eye...lol. Now hopefully I won't get deported about blogging about the manniqans, I am hoping that my internet blog hits go up...(a little more than 250 per week)...thank you.
Now, the big news involving my career at Transmed....

I have given my notice. Bob and I arrived on July 5th, 2010. Well, almost all of us Americans will now be gone. First Cowboy, then Bob, then Nick...now me, and Lauren is leaving next month. That leaves Hayley as the only American (not counting a few of the Arabs that have gotten American passports - like Reem) left standing. I will miss my coworkers, but I have an exciting new opportunity. My last day at Transmed will be next Thursday July 5th. My friends are organizing a cook out goodbye party for next Thursday evening. I will let you know next week about that, and share my exciting new opportunity with you.
By the way, Hayley has informed me that this blog has gotten stale and boring, now I am hoping that she is just young lol- this couldn't be boring - sigh...You have to love reading about where we dine (IHOP opening in July!) or the strange things that I find at the grocery store...

Just so you know, this is a little bit of therapy for me, and I hope this brings a smile to your face most weeks....
Please stay in touch....

Nutragious is Outrageous

The heat this week has been stifling. I just don't know how these Arabs lived here before air conditioning. You know that as a child growing up in Ohio, I had to walk to school uphill both ways in waste deep snow (or so the joke goes) well these poor souls obviously only found shade in the hot summer months by crawling under desert ants. OK, I know that makes no sense - it is hot as hell, and I know why some of these people turn into radicals....heat stroke...
One of the fellows at work that I have become friends with is our customer service supervisor, Peter. He is a very bright and articulate Indian that is a rather humorous character. He is very over qualified to be in customer service, but has shown no real drive to improve his lot in life by acquiring extra skills to advance his career. One thing that can limit your career options here is a lack of a drivers license. As you may recall from previous bloggings, the Indians are one of the Nationalities that they make it very tough on to get an UAE Drivers License. First, your employer has to grant permission for you to try and obtain a license. Then the Indian Expats have to take classes and tests and are routinely flunked and have to start the expensive process over. In contrast, an American just has to show a current US Drivers license and passport we are given our license with only a small fee. Well maybe part of Peter's career path has been determined after failing after 7 tries for his license he gave up his quest for a license limiting his career options.
Well to say that he is likable is an understatement. One of the things that he definitely has acquired is a sweet tooth. Peter loves chocolate. He always has something sweet at his desk, and he willingly shares with his teammates. One day he was sharing his favorite Indian chocolate with me, and I told him about my favorite candy bar, the Reece's Nutragious bar. I don't know if you have ever had this candy treat, it combines the goodness of a Reece's Peanut Butter Cup, with peanuts and caramel...it is aptly named "Nutragious." Well Peter the candy connoisseur had never heard of this candy bar, and I sought it out because I wanted to share this decadent American treat. The UAE's grocery shelves are filled with strange flavors and rip-offs of American products.

At my favorite grocery store "Hyper-Panda" you will find "prawn flavored potato chips", "Ketchup" chips, "Curiously Cinnamon" cereal and just a large variety of flavors that are geared towards the pallets here in the UAE. What I can't find is original flavored "Bugels", and up until recently the infamous Nutrageous candy bar.

There is one grocer here in the UAE that caters to Americans. It is named (believe it - I speak the truth) "Safest-Way". So I did what any proud slightly obese American would do, I decided to see if my Safest Way would have this candy bar, so that I could share this American treat with my poor downtrodden work mate Peter.

I went to Safest Way and amongst all the other American products that you can't find elsewhere (love Cinnamon flavored "Life" cereal) I found it - the beloved Nutragious candy bar. It was a little pricey 9.50 AED ($2.55), but I gladly purchased it, wanting to show Peter why Americans are the greatest innovative people in the world. Peter did enjoy it, and I thought what a shame I can't share this treat with my other friends. Well a couple of months passed, and I suddenly see my Nutragious bar at the gas station where I have my everyday before work breakfast of Cheese fatayer with a diet coke. It was priced at 4 dirhams ($1.10). I did what any proud candy pusher would do. I bought 4, giving one to Rodz, Juvy and another one to Peter. My favorite candy bar was invading the Middle East....About a week passed, and I was in Carefour (The Walmart of Dubai). Yes, they had the Nutragious candy bar. it was 3 dirhams ( 81 cents). Yes, you know how I felt....exploited. I had paid a $1.50 a candy bar penalty indulging myself at Safest Way. They might as well change the name to the American "Sucker-way".

I made a pledge that November day, never to go back to Safest Way. Just because they carry hard to find American foods (like Mt. Olive sweet pickles, Kraft Miracle Whip light, Pop Tarts and Dr. Pepper soda) I was not going to be ripped off. I would pay less money and be much happier with my "Frosties" cereal and diet Pepsi made locally that can also be used to clean your paint brushes.

Well this week my life here in Dubai changed...I decided that I would indulge once a month, go and recklessly overspend at Safest Way and buy the American treats that warm my heart and lighten my wallet. Tonight I enjoyed a bowl of Cinnamon Life cereal with Splenda sprinkled on top. My savings rate may be slightly altered, but a little more Americana is on my pantry shelf as I live here, enjoying my home away from home.

Well I appologize for rambling along and not getting to the big career news, indulge me and next week I will share the biggest news about my life in Dubai.

Back in the UAE

What a nice 20 day vacation. I had a doctors appointment this morning and he was very pleased that I had lost another pound and my blood pressure was very nice indeed. A little R & R was just what the Doctor ordered. I returned to work today, and was quite pleased that I was missed. From what I was told while I was gone Shams asked about me daily. He is such an affectionate lad.

I left one great friend in the USA, to come back to my devoted pal Shams...Fred and Shams probably will never be together again...more about that next week. Shams was excited to see me this morning.

In my last few hours in the states I got to spend great time with Danny and Laura (married one week), Lee and Cheryl and Wes and his two sons - what a nice time it was. On the day I flew out, Mitch, Donny and John from my fantasy baseball league, treated me to lunch at my all time favorite restaurant Houston's! It was a great way to finish a great vacation. A driving rainstorm in NYC delayed my flight and I was so late that my flight on Emirates Airlines had already closed and I was told by the agent that I had missed my flight. (I was drenched, for some reason at JFK airport you have to walk outside to catch a flight, so I was soaked....I begged the agent, and believe it or not she made a couple of calls and got me on the flight. After flying all night, I was tickled to have my loyal friend Muzzy waiting to pick me up

Ok, only God knows how to rotate a picture with this blog software, (let's pretend I left it sideways to save space...)

All in all it was a great vacation, got to see my parents (Mom and dad's health was very good) my brother sent his greetings to Kelly and Hayley (the said hi back), my time in St. Louis was great, seeing the ball games with Fred, spending time with Danny and meeting his beautiful new bride...Wes and Lee, the baseball gang...just a great vacation.

One Dubai story to close out this weeks blog, before I left 3 weeks ago, I stopped at the mega bookstore in Dubai Mall and was glancing at the International magazines. and I see FHM Great Britain. FHM (For Him Magazine) used to be one of my favorite magazines in the states. It is very similar to MAXIM magazine...a men's magazine but not too racy. Well occasionally there is a model that is tastefully topless (is there such a thing as untasteful toplessness? - sorry mom). Well in this magazine at the mall, I picked up and the first thing I noticed was that some censor authority had gone through the magazine with a black sharpie marker censoring the risque photo's. Too funny, I may have a new job to apply for. lol. Well I am watching the US Open golf on TV, I already enjoyed watching the Reds earlier tonight...what a way to work on my jet lag....just stay up and watch TV. Catch you next week.

Missing Work????

Well, missing work may be carrying it to an extreme, but missing my work family? Absolutely...I have talked with Muzzy, Steve, and Joseph, and BBM'd (free phone chat thingy involving Blackberry's) with Hayley, Vinny, Peter and Kelly. I do miss bantering with them - and supporting their careers as they support mine. I think the extra bonding that has occurred between us has a lot to do with being in a foreign land doing a difficult job. I always joke with them, by saying "you're gonna miss me when I am gone", and a couple of them have let me know that it's not the same place without me....words that couldn't be sweeter to my ears...Well, this time next week . I will be back in Dubai....
I have done my part to help pork farming in America. I may have topped my wildest pork dreams when Stacy treated me to dinner at the steak house at Harrah's St. Louis. I was looking over the menu, contemplating having a nice ribeye steak and a big baked potato, when the server mentioned the Chef had a special...Broiled pork belly, wrapped in crispy bacon....lol, NO, you can't make these things up. For those of you that don't know, pork belly is where you cut bacon from, so of course I ordered the "bacon wrapped bacon" dinner. It was quite tasty, but so rich that I could only eat half of my dinner. I have had Waffle House 3 times since returning home, Chickfila twice. I have had Cracker Barrel and enjoyed Baby back ribs...all very good....now my mother (I have been looking for an excuse to post a photo of mom and Hayley being goofy together in Dubai) decided she wanted to
get in on the pork fest. I don't know what the poor little piggy did to piss off my mom, but she got even by cooking the poor fellow to death. Mom has also made delicious meatloaf, and has promised me two of my favorites (Lasagna and spaghetti and meatballs). I have been at my parents house in Virginia for a few days and I leave on Monday.

I have got to see some of my friends since I got here, Fred, Rez, Stacy, Chad, and I am getting to see my buddy Danny and his new wife on Monday. I am sadly not getting to see recently employed back at SYSCO (in Florida) Nick. (that's Hayley, myself, and Nick on our desert safari).

Oh well, not much more exciting to mention. I fly back out on Emirates next Tuesday out of New York City.
I will be back in Dubai with the gang next Thursday. I have to admit that there are few things that I dread more than that flight back to Dubai. That is why I will only come home once a year.
This weeks birthday shout out....Rodz...happy birthday on Sunday.
See you all back here, with the continuing Great Adventure from the United Arab Emirates!

On the Road in the USA and couldn't be happier

On the road in the US, and I couldn't be happier.  I returned to the greatest land in the Universe on Friday, and I am knee deep into my vacation. I am not sure I should blog about my trip to the states, but since Muzzy and Hayley are two of my most devoted blogee's I will update them about my travels to America. The rest of you, well pretend you are on a plane looking over the shoulder of the person in front of you (that would be Tonto) and read whats on his laptop.  See, now that's fun...don't worry I will be brief the next two weeks.

Saturday, I picked up Fred in Knoxville, and we drove up to Cincinnati. The Reds played the Rockies at blazing hot (record heat in May....sigh) Great American Ballpark. If you recall, during my vacation to the States last year Fred and I went to a Reds game and they set a new record for home runs in a game at Reds Great American Ball park combining with the light hitting Padres for 8 Home runs (Muzzy/Tonto - I know you have never seen a baseball game, it's the American pastime, a lot like cricket that you and Kumail play, except it takes very smart athletes to play baseball- its a cerebral game lol). Well that record setting outburst last August was very exciting for us...8 home runs how could we top that...well this past Sunday, The Reds and Rockies hit 9, that's right - topping last years record setting performance by 1 - what a blast we had. We continued our journey on Sunday evening by driving to Chicago. The combined 10 hours in the car, felt like just a few minutes as we caught up on all the news and gossip that best friends share.  On Monday morning, we decided that (we were staying in Joliette about an hour south of Chicago) we would take mass transit to Chicago to see the game. Well, on Memorial Day the box office was closed at local Joliette mass transit system, so we decided to take Amtrak to Chicago. It was 6 dollars each for us to ride to Union Station in downtown Chicago. Then we took a cab ($22 for those tracking your inheritance) to Wrigley. It was hot (yes in the 90's - once again record heat for May) and our old cabbie decided that the windows down, was a much better way to travel instead of that new fangled air conditioned cab. He could drive in Dubai with his aggressive style, and man he could curse....the "F word" was his favorite. Honestly, it was part of our good weekend. Oh yes, the game....The Cubs and Padres combined for 8 home runs...lol...the last three games that Fred and I saw together there were 25 home runs...We will have a tough act to beat next summer.
After sticking Fred on a plane to send him back to Knoxville on Tuesday, I headed south to St Louis. My great friend Stacey hooked me up with a free room at Harrah's and I have been a gambling fool for a couple of days. Tonight, my good friend Steve Reznikov (former coworker at SYSCO St. Louis) picked me up and we went to dinner at Stefanino's Pizzeria. We had an extra large Pepperoni Pizza and yes, we ate it all. The weather is chilly and rainy is St. Louis (in the 70's...brrr). It's good to have friends. I am planning on Seeing Nathan and Chad on Friday, then I head to Knoxville. I have a meeting on Monday morning, then I head home for a week with the parents. It's been a great trip, and there's more to come....
Oh well, I will blog from then parents house next week, and maybe share something interesting and insightful for a change....ok. probably not. Happy birthday to my good friend Juvy back in Dubai, I will take you out for cake and Ice cream after the 13th when I get home....