The toll of the desert...from Facebook frustration to John the Ugly Diner

Ramadan is ending this weekend, and the slightly cooler temperatures of September are right around the corner, relief is in site. It is funny how you can have little things fester, and become bigger issues than they should. When these little things blow up, they can quickly be put back in their place by real events that surround you and your friends lives. I neglected to mention last week, that Steve (my boss at Transmed) had returned back to the UK because his father had passed away. He is due back this weekend. RK, the GM in charge of the "meat and seafood" division of Barakat, had his uncle die in India while he was vacationing, and he will not return until next week now. Both of these men were retired and had lived full lives, although if you are close to them, the pain you feel from missing someone that you love and care about is very deep. I turn 50 in October, and there is a sobering effect of reaching those years where heart attacks, cancer and other ailments seem to start claiming more victims.Two days ago the news of death had arrived to me, for Rick Fowler. I doubt many of the readers of this blog knew Rick, but we had been in the same fantasy baseball League in Atlanta for over 20 years together. I had always enjoyed his friendly banter, and he was a stand up guy that shared the love of baseball that I did. He was a couple of years younger than me, married with children. In the last month he was diagnosed with Cancer, and taken from the living in rapid fashion. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, and his passing reminds me of how precious life is and how you should cherish those friendships and people that you interact with everyday. You never know when that last conversation may take place.
It seems so trivial to think of the challenges of life that I (and I am sure most of you) face everyday. I bemoan the fact that I feel my biggest failure in life is and continues to be the inability to find that life mate. It seems simple, you find a nice girl, fall in love - get married and live happily ever after. I have an intense fear of growing old alone, and as I hit 50, and hopefully many more years it appears that I probably will face them alone. It seems depressing, but when I compare my challenge to Rick Fowler's family or my close friend Wes who lost his spouse (Lori) to cancer while she was still in her prime. The challenges that my friends and family have had with divorce or much worse, I realize that my big fears are nothing more than minor challenges. I am blessed, please forgive me as my trivialities are bemoaned as mountains, when we all know they are nothing more than mole hills.

Kelly is in Turkey for the weekend with her beau Sami. They left Thursday, but before she went we enjoyed an Iftar dinner together (the one I won on the radio a couple of weeks ago). The food was average (I am being gracious) but the company and conversation was magnificent. We don't get to enjoy the daily smiles and frowns since we now work for competitors, but our friendship and bond is closer than ever. During our evening, my sweet friend Kelly shared with me that she didn't really care for my Facebook profile picture. It was a picture taken at a dinner I attended during October of 2010 in Paris, France. I always liked it, looked like a successful business man enjoying a nice business dinner. Kelly felt like it made me look stuffy, and didn't portray the loving, happy, caring friend she has grown to know. It seems she took a picture at her surprise birthday dinner last week she thought would suit me better. As we said good night, she let me know she would "email that picture to me, change your Facebook photo". (yes - you are in the midst of one of John's "speed bump" in life stories).
It seems so simple, my good friend Kelly is looking out for me. Wednesday night, I got that email from Kelly. There I am, in splendid color looking ok, except that the background made my thinning hair vanish in the photo. Couldn't highlight my worse feature, so what to do. I looked at my pictures and found one taken by my good friend Yvonne right before I left the States in May of 2010.

I changed my profile picture to Yvonne's - not Kelly's. Let the pain begin...friends and family left many comments about how great I looked, I had lost weight, and how cute I was. Yes, "was" is the operative word, it has smacked me between the eyes, I have let myself go to the dogs, hair loss and weight gain are not the dynamic duo...time to get a trainer for this dog...We will revisit!
IHOP has opened it's first location in Dubai, and yes I behaved poorly in my initial dining. my waiter was a nice young man of Philippine heritage (time for the truth to set me free). I decided that I wanted to have country fried chicken and eggs (I was channeling Cracker Barrel at IHOP) I asked "Oliver" - (We will name him to protect him) if they had country fried chicken and he showed me the picture of Country fried "steak". I quickly pointed out this was beef, not chicken and I inquired again about having country fried chicken. He said "yes we have". I said "where is it in menu", he leafed to the dinner section and again showed me a picture of country fried steak (this one with veggies), I said, "no Oliver, this is beef",,,"Are you sure you have chicken?" He once again said yes, I was fretting over the fact of trusting Oliver and then knowing the odds were high that I would be severely disappointed with whatever Oliver delivered to my table that was not country fried chicken that he was promising. I spotted a manager hovering in my area, and I called her over. She quickly pointed out now to my poor server Oliver as sweat poured down his forehead and dripped from his nose, that they did not have country fried chicken, I thanked her, ordered the country fried beef, and yes I was disappointed. I will visit IHOP again soon, and order better....like pancakes...I get it....

In my new series, "get to know my new colleagues at Barakat", this week we meet Professor Bigith.

Bijith is a very fit young Hindu from the southern part of India (a reoccurring theme at Barakat). He works as a Key Account Manager in our protein division of our company and reports directly to me. In the nicest way I can, I would describe Bijith as "opinionated". I gave him the moniker of "Professor" due to his strong stances of fact about things he knows little about....He argued recently with me about things that Transmed stocks (he knew they did not stock shortening oil, I of course knew that it was the top selling item at Transmed, with three full containers a month being sold - there was no convincing him...In our brief encounters he has also shared his frustration with America for being for Pakistan and against India, no reasoning seems to seek in....yes, I am making light of this, but it is a trait of his that must change soon. This week, Professor Bijith gave me American history lessons...It seems that he thought Obama may not get re-elected, mainly because of the unfairness of "white" Americans that took the land from the blacks when we invaded America from Britain...sigh. I did not know where to begin, fortunately, Suresh (another Key Account Manager from southern India) quickly stepped in, and explained to a disbelieving Bijith, that the black Americans were from Africa that had been slaves set free by Abraham Lincoln, and were brought there as slaves from Africa by the whites. He went on to proudly say he took American history in school...Sounds like we are going to have fun listening to the world according to Professor Bijith in the upcoming months.

Muzzy and Kumail are leaving for a week in the Seychelles, while Kelly comes back from Turkey mid week, could be a little quiet this week. The good news is Hayley returns from the States today and with Ramadan ending his weekend, maybe life will get back to normal. Eid begins Sunday (it is a three day celebration marking the end of fasting and Ramadan) and I can hardly wait.
My life is full, I have relatively good health, great friends and a good career. I am thankful for my blessings as I remember my friend Rick and his family and grieve over their loss. I look forward to seeing all of you soon, and we should all cherish the time we have together on this good earth.

The UAE Keeps us Safe with tough Immigration Laws

The month long process of having my employment Visa changed is almost completed. I had forgotten that the process here is cumbersome, but in the end there maybe some things that my Government could use for the safety of America. Part of the process here to gain a workers visa is the medical exam that you go through. I had to go back and be retested (Had this test when I first arrived also) for HIV. If I was from another country, I would also have to have had my chest ex-rayed for TB. Fortunately, being from a developed nation< I only had to have my blood drawn and tested. The annoyance factor is a bit of a hassle, I had to wait an hour and a half in a poorly air conditioned room with hundreds of laborers that may or may not have met their first shower since they arrived in Dubai.

My test for HIV came back negative, so the process continues. If I would have tested positive. I would have been immediately placed into quarantine and placed on the first plane back to America. So we basically have no AIDS in Dubai. It's the same tough handling of other issues that keep the UAE remarkably safe. If I had a car wreck and there is a trace (.001) of alcohol or any illegal drug in my system the penalty is very harsh. If the accident was minor, the guilty party would be looking at 6 months in jail followed by deportation. Not the way I want to leave the UAE. There must be some drug use (because people are arrested trying to smuggle marijuana and other drugs - this week they caught a poor soul attempting to smuggle heroin into the country, I am sure they will face the death penalty). Any crime is treated toughly. Bounce a check, off to jail you go....this is not a place to commit a crime. (other than speeding - you can get dozens of tickets - just keep paying the fines...lol).
If you are an ex-pat, once your time is up in prison, deportation follows. We don't have recidivism issues. (Nick- that's repeat offenders) God I miss having Nick to pick on (just to hang out with-I am like a boy that saw his puppy get run over by a car), and the blog misses the stories my friend could help inspire.
On a totally unrelated, but yet similar issue, sex outside of marriage is against the law. So, if you lived with your girl friend and it was discovered (they don't go looking for this, but if it is discovered...tisk tisk) the penalty is deportation. If a single gal gets pregnant, she must leave also...the bottom line is it's a tough place to live if you can't follow the rules, if you are a law abiding Ex-Pat, it's safe and secure. An interesting trade off - liberty for safety....one that Americans are wrestling with in the USA more and more. BTW, I wouldn't trade my American citizenship and freedoms, but I can suspend them for a few years abroad...
I am a little tired this morning, and my blog (sorry Muzzy Tonto) is a tad bit late. Last night, I was honored to be invited to a birthday party for my great gal pal,  Canadian cutie Kelly.

I was amongst a dozen of Kelly's friends that gathered at the Park Hyatt in Dubai. We had a very nice room all to ourselves, and enjoyed a nice celebration with every body's favorite Canadian It was nice for me to meet Kelly's friends (8 gals-5 guys = good party) that I didn't know.  I also got to meet Kelly's beau Sami! He is the one to her right in the photo from last night. They are a happy little couple, and seem to be a great match.  There was only one of Kelly's Transmed coworkers invited (Reem), so Kelly's gang of friends Loren, Nick and I have left her behind. Never fear bloggista's, news on that to come shortly.
The exodus of my old sales reps from Transmed has begun. Vineet gave notice this week. Hmmm, I wonder where he will end up after his 30 days notice is up.
On a totally unrelated issue, I am looking to hire some sales reps at Barakat. This could be fun...Need to grab some lunch (grilled cheese on my stove, still another week of Ramadan to go!) Hope you have a great weekend!

One am in the morning and it's 99 degrees...It can't be legal

August in the UAE, and yes it's easy to obsess about the weather. I turned my hot water heater off at the beginning of July, and yet my shower still fogs up my bathroom mirror from the desert warmed water. The heat saps the energy out of you and taxes the air conditioning of your car as it struggles to keep you cool. My apologies for droning on and on about the heat, as I am aware of the brutal summer that has plagued the states this year, trust me it could be worse.
I did something this week that I haven't done since I was 12 or 13 years old. The "western" radio station here is 104.4 Virgin Radio Dubai. I think I have shared that it's very much a top 40 American music station, with even an afternoon show that has Ryan Seacrest. Well, to make a long story short (don't say it) on the evening drive home from work, the host is a DJ named Brent Black an American that moved from LA to Dubai five years ago to host the "afternoon drive" show. Every afternoon he plays a silly contest where the callers call in and guess the secret road that he is thinking about in the UAE. You hear numerous people (mostly Indian Ex Pats) call in and guess the roads that they are driving on until someone guesses the right road to win some prize. I always listen and want to guess Hessa Street (Close to my apartment- definitely one of the bigger secondary roads in Dubai). Well this has gone on for several months, and on Wednesday evening the guesses went on and on. Well, you guessed it, I finally called in, got through on the first try (like I said has been over 35 years since I called into a radio contest or even tried to) and yes, the "secret Road" was Hessa Street. I was the big winner...lol, I won an IFTAR dinner for two at the Grand Habtour (very nice 5 star hotel on the beach). Kelly heard it on the radio (said I had a "good radio voice"- little does she know...) well, it was also Kelly's birthday on Wednesday (28 Great years) so I of course invited her to enjoy my prize with me...I will let you know all about it later on...
I have been cooking at home more during Ramadan. I had some of my favorites this week, including one of my all time favorites, the delicious patty melt. I had to go and pick up some fresh white sandwich bread at Spinney's. I will admit, it's been a boring week in the evenings after work in the sweltering heat, I have been hiding in my apartment. Hayley is in the US, so no real "meal" buddies to go out with - so yes home made meals are the norm during Ramadan. Well, I got this loaf of bread to make one patty melt and I thought "what else could I make for dinner the next night to use some of this bread up"....I looked up and saw the "forbidden room" in the grocery store....Yes, I spied the "Pork Room" dead ahead.

As I have shared in the past, there are a few of these "special" rooms tucked away in grocery stores that cater to Ex-Pats. It is against the law for Muslims to enter the room - sorry Muzzy :-(
It reminds me of your local video store, where they have a "special room" in the back for the adult videos...lol...well, I found what I needed...center cut Oscar Meyer black label bacon. I had the best "BLT" sandwiches with Miracle whip light mayo....yummy! It reminded me of my bachelor days cooking for my self on a Sunday afternoon in the states!
Speaking of food, my adventure at Barakat with my office boy Karim and his continuing struggles to please me. Every morning, without fail - Karim steps into my doorway and utters the same word in very broken English...."Apples?"...Now, I continue to tell him "no", then he painfully goes through his other one word requests, hoping for some sign of affirmation from me..."Tea?' - no thank you, "juice?" - no thank you Karim..."Coffee?" - no , I am ok I don't need anything...."you no need?" yes I am fine..."Yes? Apple's?" no thank you....then he stands in my doorway looking sad, until I dismiss him as nice as possible....it reminds me of watching tv with my parents, no matter how many times you watch reruns of "CSI" it always ends the same...disappointment. Mahesh, Barakat's facility manager whose office is down the hall, pulled me aside and again shared with me that Karim is worried for his job, because he can't please me with a snack (I guess not getting the fat boss to accept food would be disappointing) - So, I made a plan...On Tuesday when he came to my office and asked..."apples?"...I said Karim . please come here. I then printed on a piece of paper the following words...."Orange, grapes, strawberries, pineapple" - I explained very slowly that if he offered me (remember, my office is located in the farmer's market) those fruits I would accept. He understood, and said he'd be back....20 minutes later he shows up with a full plate of fruit....

 He was very apologetic, because he could not find pineapple....He is definitely a good kid...I spent 10 minutes trying to explain smaller portions, not much luck...lol. The fruit was very good, and yes I ate my share before I gave it to the sales team.
I have started giving product and sells training at our Saturday Sales meetings....It's interesting to say the least. Sadly, the most exciting thing about this weeks blog is that it's Muzzy, Kelly and Fred's birthday. Three great friends, all born within 24 hours of each other (give or take 20 years...lol)...I will try and have something interesting happen around me this week...I promise....

Updates on the people of the Blog that you know and some you will begin to know

Good Afternoon from sunny Dubai. It is just past 12 noon and it is 109 degrees outside. The good news is the wind is blowing at 10 mph which means the wind chill is....109..sigh...it continues to be brutal. I know the last few weeks I have shared with you news from the region - latest is that Dahi Khalfan -Police Chief of Dubai, fears that the Muslim Brotherhood may be trying to infiltrate and overthrow the gulf nations (including the UAE) from their ruling families...Honestly, other than his statement and his announcement of several arrests and detentions, I can see no change in my surroundings if I do...of course, I will let you know.
Time for an update of my old Transmed family, those that have left the country, Bob is back working for SYSCO in Atlanta and BBM's me regularly, Richard (Cowboy) is selling for an International exporter in Georgia, I have had a couple of brief correspondences since he left a year ago this month, I have not spoken with him. Nick is back with SYSCO in Western Florida, and is doing very well, we speak about once a month (usually when I need help with something..lol). Loren's last day with Transmed was yesterday, she and her husband have moved on to a career in Istanbul, Turkey. That leaves the only American (not counting Jordanian Reem, who worked hard to gain her citizenship in the US) still at Transmed, my pal Hayley. She is on a plane to NYC as we speak for a vacation. She has transferred to National accounts and works for my buddy Georges, servicing accounts like Texas Roadhouse and the soon to be opening Cheesecake Factory and IHOP. I still see Kelly, Muzzy, Kumail, Vinny, and Steve regularly for lunch or dinner and speak to almost all of them on the phone.

I am having lunch with Steve tomorrow at Cactus Cantina. Now this is a Mexican Bar and restaurant that is owned by an American named Rudy Rivas. He is a character from Texas (complete with cowboy hats and boots) and always has a license to open for lunch during Ramadan. I had lunch there three times this week...lol...he doesn't have the "speedy Gonzales" lunch specials, but 3 cheese enchiladas with Spanish rice and chip and salsa cost $15...a deal in my mind verses skipping lunch during Ramadan.

I am finding new people to understand and bond with at my new company. I have decided to spend a day in the car with each of the Salesmen in our "food service Division" - There are three divisions that I am responsible for, I thought I would go to my roots first. The current roster of Account Executives includes Rima, a Lebanese National, and four Indian gentlemen - Jitesh, Suresh, Bigeth, and Sudheer. All four guys are from southern India and are Hindu's. You can be thrilled to know that I am already beginning to learn all sorts of new cultural things, and hopefully they are learning new stuff from me. On Monday, I spent the day with Jitesh. It was 115 degrees that day, and I was treated to a day of sales with Jitesh. We got into his car, his IPOD hooked up playing Kenny Rogers songs. If you have never spent the day riding around in 115 degree heat listening to a 25 year old Indian National sing in a "7-11" do you want a Slurpee accent (I would kill for an ice cold grape Slurpee) "Coward of the County", "The Gambler" (his personal favorite got to hear it twice) and I was very sympathetic to "Lucille" she did a much better job of leaving her man than I did of leaving Jitesh...yes 4 hungry children and a crop in the field...sigh. He actually is a nice young man, with very limited sales experience (he was hired from the banking industry in May). Plenty of potential, and a good soul.
Needless to say, I begin a campaign of extensive sales training this Saturday. I think I will have plenty to blog about. One of the the guys you will hear more about is the office boy that is assigned to my office (being a Vice President has it's perks in Dubai). His name is Karim.

He is a Muslim lad from Asia who speaks very little broken English. He comes to my office trying to please me, so far he is not feeling satisfied...He will say "apples?". and if I say yes, he will appear two minutes later with a freshly sliced apple served on china for me to snack on as I work. If I say no, he will offer Juice, coffee, tea or water (I wish I could have taught Shams this level of service - of course I wasn't Senior enough at Transmed.) and if I don't agree to him preparing me something, he will stand in the doorway of my office looking very sad. I understand from a coworker that he is scared that he is not pleasing me...I guess I will see if I can add oranges, strawberry's or other fruits that I enjoy. lol...He is obviously impoverished, I will work on making his life better, and showing him the generosity of Americans.
Hope that my friends back in the states are surviving the heat and drought that you are facing, think of it as a "taste" of the life in the UAE. Have a great week!

Welcome to Ramadan 2012

I wake up this morning to the beginning of my third Ramadan in the UAE. As a reminder, Ramadan is a 30 day period of fasting that is celebrated every year by Muslims all over the world. It is a holiday that moves (approximately10 days earlier each year - next year will begin around July10th) in relation to phases of the moon. There is a religious "moon watching committee" that determines in each country when Ramadan begins. Ramadan started today in Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and the UAE, but doesn't begin until tomorrow in Oman.
The fasting during Ramadan is strict. Muslims may not let anything (food, water, chewing gum, or even a toothpick) pass their lips from sunrise until sunset. It is an admirable devotion if you think about being around 110 degree heat (115-120 in the next few weeks) and not taking a sip of water all day.
I know what my fine American friends are thinking, "how does that effect you, John"? Well, I do have a qualified freedom to express my religion here. The UAE is a Muslim state (98 percent of the citizen's are Muslim -1 percent Christian, 1 percent Hindu) that allows other beliefs, but expects compliance from the ex-pats that are working or vacationing here. Almost all restaurants are closed during the day - you can get a special license to stay open (about $1500) but almost no one gets this license. If you do get a permit, you have to put black curtains up so that a fasting passerby er (is that proper grammar?) does not see a patron not fasting. In my car I can not drink a beverage, or chew gum or eat anything. If I am observed breaking the fast in public I can be deported. Most likely, the first time I would be warned, but I assure you the authorities are serious, if I was defiant, or repeatedly broke the fast, if I avoided jail, I would be on the next plane out of the country. Women here must also be careful. They must dress very conservatively to avoid trouble. Last year our pal Kelly was sent home from the grocery store because she was wearing shorts. Oh well, I think you get it, some drive through' and deliveries are allowed, so I will be inconvenienced - but won't starve. when I get done writing this, I will go to Subway for my breakfast, but I will have to bring it home to eat.
I begin this Ramadan working at Barakat. The employees are overwhelmingly Hindu. So, I will be able to drink my Diet Cokes in my office and other than when I am out of the building it will have limited effect on me. Transmed was a Muslim dominated company, so I was very aware of the observance my first two years here, we will see the difference this year.
Well while we are on to serious things, it has been an eventful week here in Dubai. The US Navy fired upon a fishing boat with 6 Indians (some reports say 4) and two Emirate's on board. Unfortunately, one of the Indians was killed, and 3 other are in critical condition in the hospital). They were returning from a deep sea fishing trip in the Persian Gulf. There is heightened tensions in the Gulf, with the sabre rattling going on between Iran and various different Western allies (including our very good ally the UAE). After the attack on the USS Cole small craft are aggressively dealt with if they approach too closely and apparently this fishing group made that mistake. There was some anti-American ranting in the media here, as the incident versions are being disputed. In the end though, thankfully India and the UAE are probably two of our best three Ally's in the region, and although it is unfortunate, I think most people are somewhat understanding of how this mistake could happen. The UAE government has issued strong warnings to boaters here, be extremely cautious around the ships patrolling the Gulf. The incident actually took place very close to where I live, right off the coast. I teased Kelly about her pleasure boating (see last week) and we both agreed it was a very sobering incident.
The interesting news of the week, was the opening of a new oil pipeline that traverses the desert of the UAE and skips the Straight of Hormuz. This is huge news for the West, as much as 25% of the oil that passes through the Straight could now go overland to the Indian Ocean, weakening Iran's ability to interfere with the flow of black gold to the industrialized west.

I always thought I would have made a good history teacher, so I hope you have enjoyed your class from today. Well, more news next week, now on the lighter side....I continue on....
My new employers have made every effort to settle me in comfortably. I have a great office, with leather furniture for my guests, an office boy that keeps my refrigerator stocked with Diet Cokes. Honestly, so far it couldn't be any nicer, or could I have been received any kinder, Now, I gotta get busy and produce some results for their investment in me. I did get to have lunch with a few of my old Transmed colleagues this week, and I really hope that I am able to maintain some of those special friendships that I was lucky enough to enjoy my first two years here. It is a time for change in my life. I think Bob has a saying, "change or die" - well who wants to die over here...lol.
I did get a nice note from Rodz on Sunday....said "read your blog, it was too long"...lol, so I don't want to get chastised this week, so let's call it a wrap.
Ramadan Kareem! (Happy Ramadan)

What exactly is Jared's secret?

In the ten days of not working while I wait for my employment Visa's to get cleared up, you would think that it would be a boring peaceful time....boring yes - peaceful....well let me share about the angriest week I have had in Dubai (all directed at one guy, and I don't even know his name).... I lease my 2011 Nissan Altima. It's a decent deal, the lease includes, insurance, all service, and even new tires...every thing except gas ($1.67 per gallon fixed across the UAE) and the "salik" (toll on the Sheikh Z highway). Last Sunday morning, my cell phone woke me up as I received a call from an Indian gentleman (my description of this fellow will change as the week progresses) from my auto lease company. It seems that my registration is expiring and they need to pick up my car and get it renewed. Well, the guy's English is so poor this conversation takes entirely too long. I politely (this time) ask for a supervisor that could understand me, as this guy needs directions to pick up my car on Monday morning (they deliver to you and swap cars and give you a loaner to use)...well, we agreed he would call Monday morning and get directions to get my auto. Monday morning arrives, and the same poor English speaking gentlemen calls (now before you defend this guy with some crap - I am taking deep breaths - he doesn't speak Arabic either, Indian and almost English, the official business language) well as you can guess he didn't miraculously learn English overnight and we quickly came to a language standoff again. We could not communicate. I asked for his supervisor, and sadly he didn't understand. Well, he said he would call back....he did not, at least not on Monday.
Tuesday around lunch time, my Good friend from India called back. I was busy at Safest Way and had bought frozen groceries (Blueberry Eggo Waffles - and no I am not receiving product placement payments lol) so I was heading home. Once again our communication was not good, but in a moment of brilliance I thought, I eat breakfast each morning at Subway, I can meet the guy there in the morning as the Subway I go to is on a major road and would be extremely easy to give directions to.
We agreed in our broken communication that he would call me first thing Wednesday morning and then I would give him directions to meet me. Well, needless to say, my pitiful excuse for a service representative did not call me Wednesday morning. Thursday morning, I took matters into my own hands, I called his cell number. He said he could meet me and I gave him directions to Subway, and he said he would be there in 15 minutes (9:15). The story (sadly) is about to get longer...
I am done eating my foot long sesame egg and cheese - with extra cheese sub combo meal (for an extra $1.50) that includes a Diet Coke and two cookies (I eat this every morning and I am gaining weight. Jared is a fraud lol). My phone rings, yes you guessed correctly, he could not find the Subway. Luckily, my Subway delivers and the Indian delivery boy is waiting for his next chance to earn an extra buck. I quickly give him the phone, and in one of the common languages that they both spoke, my car leasing guy got directions from the Subway delivery boy. Ten o'clock sharp, and in walks my leasing service consultant. He drops off his car and grabs mine and says he will be back in less than an hour. So, I smartly asked him to meet me right back at the Subway at 11 am, I run home (my cleaning boy is there, and I teach him how to make the bed with the sheets underneath the comforter!!!!). Eleven o'clock comes and my car pulls up, and the driver ends the horrible saga....not so fast, the bad part is upon us....My car registration was not completed because he did not have the proper paperwork from his companies office, sigh he would have to come get my car next week...We exchange keys, he drives off. I climb into my Altima, it is unbelievably hot (and yes the odor left by my service dude - checking the weather temps from today it was 108 degrees in Dubai at 11am) and for some reason the AC is turned off. I quickly turned it on, as I was suppose to meet Steve at Mall of the Emirates at 12:30 and I was going to hang out in the cool mall til we could meet for lunch. The air conditioner is blowing out hot air, I think that I just need to drive it for a minute to get it to cool down. Wrong again....let me share with you in temperatures approaching 110 degrees is not comfortable in a car with no AC. I am pouring sweat in my long sleeve dress shirt and business slacks, I quickly become soaked. I call my Car guy back, and I say to him, "why would you bring my car back with non working AC?"
He of course does not understand. I angrily demand to speak to a supervisor, he says...."no problem, I come get your car." I try and explain that I am headed to the mall, he says he will meet me there, in 10 minutes, just call back and give my parking location. I call back at 11:15 and say that I am on level 1 row "T". as in Tom...I get an "OK, I am almost there." I call back at 11:30 and ask where are you? He said I am on floor 2 row T. I say well I am on floor 1 level T, he says no problem, I will be right there. At 11:40 I call back and say "where are you?". he says "I am on ground floor row C". By this time, I was wondering if I ever saw the guy again and I happened to choke the life out of him, would my American Passport get me out of trouble?   I once again share my location, he says again, "no problem" I will be right there. Five minutes pass and my phone rings. It is another Indian gentlemen that he has given the phone to asking me where I am at. I am almost shouting, the new fellow (Innocently brought into my rage) starts telling me to :"chill man" the guy is just lost, no reason to be angry, of course he had no idea how angry (I believe justifiably) I had become. I tell hem where I am, and I hear him share the info to the pitiful non English Speaking...well, my leasing guy.
He finally finds me at 12:15. I am drenched, unbelievably fired up (I am contemplating just how vociferous my complaint to management at the leasing company is going to be, and if I got this fellow fired, what would become of him) and possibly his family. He climbs in my car and proceeds to say "it's too hot, something is wrong with your air conditioning" yes a no shit Sherlock moment...(sorry Mom). So he gives me his car, and drives off in my portable oven to find out what is wrong. I hurry into the Mall, anxious to get a cold soda with Steve at our 1230 lunch. I get almost to the restaurant, and my phone rings. My good friend from the leasing company has locked his ticket for parking in his car, and I have mine in my pocket. I have to walk all the way back out of the Mall and find him to give him my parking pass....At noon, the official Dubai temp was 109, but I was much hotter than that....A supervisor called me at 4 pm. My compressor is burned out, they will have my car back to me by Sunday (they hope)...no I didn't complain, my anger that I shared and him driving my hot car back for service would be punishment enough...I am a softy...lol.
My brush with heat, is just what I will have to deal with. I started writing this at 1 am local time. The official temperature was 93 degrees with 79% humidity. That makes the heat index 124 degrees, Hard to believe at 1 in the morning, it's almost enough to drive you into heat madness....I did attend a meeting with my new employers this afternoon, we discussed software and server upgrades (over $700,000 worth) that the company is in the process of evaluating and ordering. I really like everybody that I have met, and I am obviously going to be making and participating in major decisions in my job as Corporate Vice President. I should officially start on Sunday, so I will share more next week.
I have talked to Muzzy, Kelly, Juan, Hayley and others from Transmed almost everyday, but I already miss them. Kelly did share a funny story with me this week.

Kelly and her boyfriend Sammy, decided they were going to take a "fishing trip" to Oman last weekend. Well, it was an all inclusive deal, they would pick you up early in the morning drive you to Oman (3 hours to where they were going form Dubai) and it would include the fishing with a guide and lunch from your catch on the Dhow. Well, the fisherman that are reading this probably realize that you don't fish in 110 degree weather. The guide didn't even hand them a pole.lol...they sailed around in the water for 8 hours and ate sandwiches that they had packed for them...Kelly said even though they were ripped off, they had fun...poor Kelly is smitten. No fears

Kelly fans, I have not met this Jordanian stud yet, so I have yet to bless this...

My new found obsession with Safest Way found me there buying Post "Shredded mini Wheat's" and Post "Blueberry Morning" cereal (I know this is a new obsession, because I would never buy these cereals in the US) along with sweet butter chip pickles...I guess if it gives me comfort...lol.

I was lucky enough to talk this week with my awesome friend in St. Louis - Amy Bossi. She reads the blog monthly, and claims she is not bored...it was really nice catching up. Blog hits in June...334. I for the life of me can't figure out who you all are, but thank you for keeping up with me.

Rodz would complain about the blog being too long this week, so I best end it now, before I get a complaining Philipinia on my cell phone...Have a great week, and stay cool...

Things are Heating up in the UAE

This week this blog could go so many directions. big job changes, sweltering heat. and rapidly beating drums of war might be a few things to drivel about. I am a little slow moving about this morning due to my former employees throwing me a goodbye/congratulation party. Wednesday marked my completion of two years of employment at Transmed, and also the end of my career there. I am sure that almost everyone that visits this blog frequently, knows about my resignation. I have accepted a new career opportunity at another UAE based company (Barakat International). I don't actually start for another 10 days or so (due to Visa requirements), so we will save for a future date the details about the upcoming exciting position.
In the last week, it has reached 120 degrees here. On Tuesday, as I pulled into my local Subway for my favorite breakfast (egg and cheese on sesame sub bread - yes I eat it several times a week, so as much as I love it, it's only a matter of time until I won't be able to eat it, sigh....) the temperature was 100 degrees. You will have to trust me, when it is breaking 100 degrees at 8 am, it's hot. No chance for an afternoon shower (Clouds? - a man can dream can't he?) in the 8 months of summer here,  the humidity in the morning and evening is incredible. (last night at midnight heat index was 129 degrees). Well Tuesday was slated to be my last full day at work. The 10 story office building that is Transmed's UAE headquarters was a sauna. The air conditioning had gone down overnight.I worked until 1 pm, I left when I was so soaked in sweat. The smell, well, let's just say I would not want to experience another day like it. The air conditioning was not fixed until sometime that night.

Several of my employees did a pretty cool thing, they came over to my apartment last night for a send-off celebration. We dined on CAB hamburger patties and they gave me some nice gifts (Mont Blanc Wallet and Key chain) and Fathuma and Josie made me a hand stitched flower (Needle point) and framed it for me (my walls are painfully bare). I had a wonderful time and it was very touching that they would visit.

By the way, while I am unemployed for the next 10 days, I am suspending the self imposed 2 picture max blog rule :-). Muzzy (Tonto), Hayley, Fathuma, (me) Josie, Juan, Kelly and Kumail are pictured above, Vinny snapped it and Ceren and Lauren had already left.
It is becoming more likely with each passing day that there will be a conflict between Iran and somebody over here very soon. As a refresher, the governments of Iran and the UAE have very poor relations. There are actually 3 small Islands located in the Persian Gulf that are claimed by the UAE as territory and occupied by the Iranians.

Dubai is less than 100 miles from the narrowest part of the Straight of Hormuz. The United States has a large Air Force presence in the UAE (you never see an American military serviceman in uniform in the UAE) and we also have a huge fleet harbored in Bahrain (right next to Qatar on the map). The Iranian Parliament has just voted to block the straight, and the Iranian government has just show cased their missile ability and threatened to attack the countries that are hosting American troops. You add to the mix the fact that Israel will probably find a way to take out Iran's nuclear capabilities if the rest of the world fails. I am nervous (mainly from job issues-more than a fear of war killing me) but so far life and commerce here are normal.
As a funny aside form last week, my blog title "Nipplemania" caused my blog hits to go up. Last week there were 70 hits to the site (yes if you google"nipple and John Bruck" this blog is the number 1 search result. Danny Messimer is always asking for more sex and action in the  blog, and Hayley and Muzzy are bored with the content, so maybe they have proven a little risque-ness can go a long way...lol.
I am really excited about my new job, I will try and keep that excitement going to stave off the inevitable boredom that having no job for the next two weeks will certainly bring. I will try and stay cool and hopefully things won't heat up war wise in my backyard. See you here next week, and thank you for checking on me.